Before the modern dating era, relationships in many Western societies were controlled by families and guided by strict rules, with a couple’s emotional connection often a secondary concern to family interests.
- Medieval chivalry: The concept of chivalry began in the Middle Ages and influenced later courtship rituals. It was seen as a sign of a knight’s devotion to dedicate his joust to a woman he loved. Actions rooted in chivalry, such as composing poetry for a woman or buying her dinner, later became components of courtship.
- Formal balls and banquets: As early as ancient Greece and Rome, formal banquets and balls served as venues for courtship. In 18th- and 19th-century Europe, aristocratic debutante balls acted as “coming-out” ceremonies for elite young women to enter society and find a suitable partner.
- Victorian “calling”: In the 19th century, courting was a more formalized process, with specific etiquette rules. A young woman’s family would issue an invitation for a man to “call” on her at her home, where their interactions were often supervised by family members.
- Flirtatious “acquaintance cards”: In late 19th-century America, young people began exchanging “acquaintance cards” as a more informal way to flirt. These cards parodied the formal “calling cards” used by the upper-class and sometimes contained coded messages.
- Early proms: Originating in late 19th-century American universities, the promenade (or “prom”) was a formal banquet for graduating classes. It was later adopted by high schools as a “democratized version of the debutante ball,” offering students of all social classes the opportunity to attend a formal dance.
- The rise of the “promposal”: The term “promposal”—an elaborate public invitation to the prom—first appeared in the Dallas Morning News in 2001, but the phenomenon quickly took hold. The average American household now spends hundreds of dollars on prom and promposals, transforming a simple invitation into a major social event.
adviser • Oct 2, 2025 at 5:28 pm
Thank you, Barrett! Well-done!